I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize