Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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