We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
