that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
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I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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