Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
