I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
