I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
