dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
