Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize