You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
