in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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