My friends, they love my intelligence
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize