last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
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