What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
