another moral hangover. fuck.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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