did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
