if you like me you must not know who I am
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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