I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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