3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
