I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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