dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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