god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
