At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
