If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
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My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
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I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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