Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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