do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
