Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize