im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
