I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
