Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Someone signed my nipple.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
