If you die in college, do you die in real life?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
