Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
