well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
