i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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