Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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