i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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