I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
