He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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