I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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