Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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