Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
