I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
