thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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