I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Randomize
