I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
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i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
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dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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