It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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