You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
