you told grandpa to call you daddy
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
