Soap is not a condiment
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
