i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
