it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
