Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
