Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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