can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
4 words: hood of his car
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
