is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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