Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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