Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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