I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
