glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
