He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
