I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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