you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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