I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
