Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i will never coherently bang her
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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