So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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