she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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